Confessions of a Mumzilla :Things mums don't want to think about.

You know sometimes I feel like I live in two different worlds and when I think about it or when it seems to all become too much I get so down. I have been feeling down lately - could be lack of sleep, a despicable diet, guilt over leaving my baby to go to work, #firstworldproblems or just having one of my where-is-my-life-going dips. It can also perhaps be attributed to the fact that I have read three Khaled Hosseini books back-to-back. That I work and work and work and don’t have time for much else. That life has settled into a terrible tedious routine and dressing up and going out has become a schlep. It happens every now and then. This affliction of having the time and privilege to feel dissatisfied with a good life.

I live in plush suburbia with all the trimmings and I have a beautiful private practice around the corner where I do exclusively aesthetic medicine (Botox, fillers, chemical peels and the like). I also work (slog) at a state practice as a dentist daily in Phola Park, Thokoza . Every day I drive from nature estates and private gyms and houses that loom like behemoths into the township - for the past 7 years - can you believe it. Also with its dust , rocks , shacks, bond houses and unaccompanied children running about the streets.

Last Tuesday as I was driving in I saw a boy -perhaps 2 and half years old holding the hand of ,I assume, his little sister . She was perhaps 18 months old . They were so small. Crossing the road by themselves, stopping before stepping off the curb. Before I drove past the little boy held her hand so tightly and tugged her back protectively. I looked into my rear view mirror to watch them walk - they were alone! Where were these kids going alone? And I just drove past to work.

Last week I read the story of a 4 year old girl right here in Thokoza found hanged and possibly raped . These stories scare me because I am a parent of a little girl. They seem remote when I read them on IOL – horrific but still distant. It is so far removed from our reality that while we are upset by it all we don’t know what to do about it. So nothing is done.