Getting my Bum into Gear - A break in the blog flow

After an embarrassingly long hiatus from the gym I’ve decided to kit up in black, shape-blurring battle gear and distracting, snazzy Nikes ( said as Ni-keys) and whittle my waist down .I’m waging war against the dreaded 'marriage fat". “ SPARTA –AAAAAAAAAAA!”


Being happily married is bad for your waist line (if you can still find it). The hallmarks of the happy marriage are those instantly recognizable physical indicators – muffin tops, love handles and that dreaded phenomenon of women morphing into pears, apples and oranges .You've seen it before - calabash-shaped men and calabash-shaped women plodding along in matrimonial bliss.


Also now since I’ve started blogging I fear I may develop the dreaded “BLOG BUTT© ”. I don’t know , I just made that up. Um . . . “ a difficult to treat condition where your bum merges with an ergonomic chair as a result of overzealous blogging and Googling.”


Let’s get back to the solution – an eating plan and exercise. What has happened to the Gym –Bunny I used to be? What is even more shameful is the  inescapable truth of the answer- I really have no valid excuse for inactivity. At the estate we live in there is a private gym that may take just over a minute to walk to. Okay, so you might burn a hole in your lungs trying to walk up the Himalayan-esque incline but really I cannot even use it as vindication(we can drive to the gym which might take 30 seconds). Also we (the Hubsy and I) have two other gym memberships from two different gyms both less than 2Km away. The other day a consultant from the Virgin Active phoned to tell me about the new super-club in Glenvista and asked if the reason I haven’t been to gym in so long was because of “laziness”. I promptly hung up and thought: “Is that dumbass right?”




Hell no! No more I say! No more exercise avoidance behaviour. What characterizes this behaviour?

1.    Schlepping (it should be a real word) to the mall to indulge in the latest 3D movie and binge on new-found Sushi fetish.

2.    Become dangerously addicted to Gossip Girl – don’t even ask why adults are so fascinated with the activities of hedonistic teenagers.

3.    Religiously watching box-sets (Heroes, Big bang theory etc.)

4.    Doing laundry

5.    Reading Shape magazine

6.    Merging with the sofa

7.    Grocery shopping

8.    “Laziness”

I am so done with that. Last night I worked out. Reluctant to show my face at the Virgin active I walked it to the gym at home. Did some light weights, fooled around on the Pilates ball and braved “the Hill”. At home, waited for the Hubsy to go shower, quickly  popped in a Zumba DVD and did the crazy dance moves. I was caught out by him doing a crazy reggae move. Much delirious laughter and finger pointing. “Hah! So what I am working out!”

This morning I woke up grumpy that I had such a half-assed workout. Medusa-haired and muzzy-eyed I pulled on some track pants and I ran up and down that crazy hill. My husband (a.k.a the Smoogie) is highly amused by my bizarre behaviour.

Though I must say after that exercise outburst , a healthy blueberry packed breakfast and a handful of Omega -3-6-9, Gojiberry, Calcium, Multivitamin supplements I feel pretty damn good hey.